Most everyone knows that when you develop Alzheimer’s disease, your memory begins to fail. Specifically, your short term memory begins to crumble. You may have a hard time remembering what you ate for dinner last night, or you may have a hard time recalling the details of a movie you saw a week ago. (Long term memory usually remains intact, so you can still remember kids you went to school with in 1st grade, and all the crazy things you and your neighborhood friends used to do while growing up.)
There are, however, other signs of dementia that may start before the short-term memory loss that are not so well known:
- Poor judgment and
- Changes in mood or behavior
The next time your parents (or grandparents) do or say things that manage to really upset you, take a step back and ask yourself: Could they have the very early stages of a dementia?
Let me share a little story. When I was about 9 or 10 years old, my mom took my brother and I to visit our grandparents. My dad’s parents, actually. It was my Grandma’s birthday, and we were going to give her this nice present my mom had picked out and wrapped. My dad wasn’t there, because he died when I was 5. And although his parents and my mom never really got along too well after his death, my brother and I were very close and used to see them 2 or 3 times a week.
When we arrived at my grandpa and grandma’s house to deliver the gift, we all went inside and wished grandma happy birthday. As she started to open the present on the kitchen table, however, she suddenly stopped. She backed away, and looked at my mom and told her she didn’t want it, and how she should return it to the store.
For a second, my mom looked puzzlingly at my grandma, and then slowly started to get incredibly angry. “How dare you tell me in front of the kids you don’t want our gift?” One word led to another, and before you know it, a full verbal fight had broken out. Voices were shouting, and then my normally sweet grandma did something entirely uncharacteristic and unexpected- she spit at my mom.
Within seconds, my mom went to go slap her. I’m not sure if she ever actually made contact, but I know she tried. My Grandpa rushed into the room and quickly urged her out of the house.
It was a disaster. My brother and I were very upset, and for about half a year, my mom never spoke to them, nor did she permit us our weekly visits.
Well, about 7 years later, my Grandma started to develop memory problems, and was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
In retrospect, I’m convinced that the birthday present fiasco, which caused quite a bit of emotional turmoil for everyone involved, was mainly due to the poor judgment and behavioral changes that can be seen in very early Alzheimer’s disease.
And I can tell you, after having seen thousands of patients and their brain MRI’s, and spoken with their families, these sort of things happen a lot. And the vast majority of the time, no one involved is aware of the true culprit- the pathologic changes of early dementia taking place in a loved one’s brain.
The end-of-year holidays are notoriously the most stressful times of the year for many. So as you head home for Christmas break, the next time your parents (or grandparents) do or say things that manage to really upset you, take a step back and ask yourself: Could it be due to the poor judgement and changes in mood and behavior that go hand in hand with very early stages of Alzheimer’s?
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